OK, honesty corner time. Lately I’ve been having a few doubts about this blog and its direction. I’m not sure where they came from. There wasn’t a “you really should get a day job” type comment left or a mass suicide of subscriptions. It was merely a case of some sneaky little bastard arse thoughts creeping in like, “what direction are you going with this?”, “how are you ever going to make a living from it?”, “is what you’re providing valuable?”, “is what you’re providing wanted?”, “can you really write well?” and “are you really that sexy?”
I should first clarify that I have an amazing partner who brings in the cash while I’m off gallivanting around the countryside (or rather, our house) actively pursuing my dreams. Not only does he bring in the cash but he supports and encourages me 100%. I’m one lucky unemployed, technically inept, dream chasing blogger. I do, however, sometimes feel the pressure (definitely not from Chris though) of not contributing to our household income.
I should also clarify that I’ve never felt fulfilled working for someone else. I find it too constricting and generally lacking meaning, creativity and the opportunity to wear slippers and bad hair.
Anyway, the snowball effect of the sneaky little bastard arse thoughts taking up residence in my brain and finding it quite appropriate to laze around the pool sipping martinis, was a not so healthy dose of self doubt and inertia. I spent a good day and a half wandering aimlessly around in my slippers like a teenager whose just been asked to give up all forms of technology.
The more I tried to find answers to the thoughts, the more confused and inert I became. Finally, after coming close to driving myself clinically insane, I gave myself a firm talking to and began the eviction process of the sneaky little bastard arse thoughts starting with refusing to serve them any more alcohol!
My attack was 2 pronged. First prong; Take action, any action. Here’s what I did;
- Meditated to quieten my mind.
- Emptied all the thoughts on to paper.
- Looked at what I’d written and then brainstormed potential solutions.
- I chose the solutions I wanted to try and listed them in order of priority.
- I worked down the list. By the way, one of the solutions I found was a survey program I plan to implement so I can learn more about you guys. It’ll be a quick, 4 question survey and the program randomly selects readers. It’s anonymous and you can choose whether or not you’d like to participate but if you’re chosen and are willing, I’d really appreciate your honest feedback.
The second prong of the attack was slightly less action oriented; I decided to just have faith, or in Aussie terms, take on the adage “she’ll be right mate”. In other words, let go and trust that the answers would show up, that what’s supposed to happen will happen and whatever happens (even the not so great experiences) will be for my greater good.
As is often the way when you set an intention, synchronicity kicked in and life threw me some signs I was on the right track. In the couple of days following the “she’ll be right” decision, the following transpired;
- I came across the post Trust Me: To Be Happy You Need Trust by Dani at Positively Present and Footsteps in the Dark by Chania Girl at Living Happiness (thanks guys, just what I needed).
- My sweetheart of a sister surprised me with a notebook I’d been wanting to get for writing.
- Secured a 30 minute blog review and consultation with Associate Editor, Jon Morrow, from Copyblogger.
- Without even knowing I was practising “having faith”, my sister said I should just have faith!
- Instead of sneaky little bastard arse thoughts, good ideas moved in to my brain (and I was more than happy to serve them alcohol).
Having faith takes courage but it is a huge relief to stop trying to control everything and to live and let go.
The truth is, I still don’t have the answers to many of those sneaky little bastard arse thoughts but that’s OK because I have faith that she’ll be right mate.
Well, I’m off. Time for a martini by the pool with my new good ideas!
What do you do when self doubt, confusion and inertia reigns?
Related posts:
- Everyday Hero – Doing What it Takes We often look up to famous people as role models...
- Mum’s Victory You don’t have to go far to find someone...
- 10 Reasons The Global Financial Crisis is a Good Thing Photo by Vinzcha Every time we turn on the box...
- You Don’t Need a Second Mortgage to Eat Organically Photo by Secret Tenerife Quite some time ago I posted...
- Let the Good Times Roll Photo by nimAdestiny I love a celebration, always have. I’m...
Ah Sam, have faith my love and get on with the job of making people smile – a wonderful career me thinks and one you should continue to pursue.
Hey Ma,
Thanks for that! I’m keepin the faith.
Sam, thanks for being so honest about something that would be hard to put down in your blog! Goes to show that everyone has doubts at some point about what they are doing and where they are headed, but if it’s something you truly want and love then stick at it. I agree, she’ll be right…
Sam, I seem to be having those thoughts a lot lately and you are the one that gives me hope (although I’m not planning on beginning things with that word starting with D!) I love your blog. You are one of the funniest people I know. You have such a wonderful outlook on life and throughout everything you’ve done, you have always remained that beautiful friend who I got to know in Grade 8 at Bundy High. Keep up the good work. I’m living on the fact that I’ve finally worked out what I want to do in life (becoming a Mid Wife) and that hopefully I’ll be accepted into Uni next year.
Love ya
Woolly
Hi Sami,
I think just about every blogger experiences these doubts at some point. It’s part of the growth process and I’ve certainly been through it myself … several times. It’s great to hear that you’re getting through it and have some new ideas to pursue. Feel free to email me if you’d think it would help to hear about what I’m planning with my blog.
Thank you so much for mentioning me here!
You made me very happy with that little link love.
I’m so impressed by your careful analysis of the situation. I think you did some great things when you were facing doubt and confusion. You took time to think it through and understand what was happening and, more importantly, you took action. I really hope you don’t stop writing this blog because I really enjoy it. You, of course, have to do what’s best for you, but know that one reader would be very sad if you stopped posting!
Hi Sami:
I can really identify what you’re going through right now. I am fairly new to blogging and I am still learning. After getting sacked at my last job due to the economy, I’ve been spending more time blogging and trying to learn social media. There are plenty of days I get bummed when I don’t get any traffic. There are plenty of days when I feel like I lack focus or direction on my blog. But I am pushing through and I hope to find my niche.
I’m also dealing with some career issues and trying to figure out my next move. Mentally, I am all over the place. One thing that has helped me is some brief meditating and some affirmations about finding clarity and focus. It sounds simple, but it seems to have helped me lately.
I say keep plugging along and I thing some of the answers will come to you. I enjoy your sense of humor, sunny outlook, and interesting content. Making money at blogging is more difficult than I thought, but as long as your blog is a reflection of you (rather than the other way around) – you are onto something.
Oh, wow, love! Thanks for the shout-out.
I think it’s totally normal to have these doubts and these needs to evaluate “where are we going with this.” My synchronicity? That I’ve been feeling the same way as you this week.
One of the things I’ve found on this journey of “footsteps in the dark” is that the light we need to illuminate our next steps can be found in many places. The biggest place for me has been in the community around me, which is why I want to encourage you not to give up. I enjoy your blog very much and feel like you are adding to my world every day with your insights and your humor. At the same time, though, I also want you to follow your heart and do what you are happiest with. Personally, I think you began this blog for a reason. Maybe only you know what that reason is. But if your blog is still answering that question as to why you began it, then you are on the right track.
Wish you were around this evening for some martinis together. Boy, could we dish!
Sending you much love and encouragement from miles (and miles and miles) across the pond,
~Chania Girl
hey Sam, another amazingly honest post. Great process you provide for working through the situation – general enough to be adapted to any problem solving. I agree that for all of us who think we can control our lives, acceptance is a highly under-rated virtue!
Hey Valeska,
Yep, we’re only human! It’s true that if it’s something you want and love you should stick at it. That’s basically what it came down to for me in the end. The rest will work itself out. Thanks for your comment!
Hey Woolly,
Great to hear from you and thank you so much for your totally lovely comment (it meant a lot). SO stoked to hear that you’re pursuing becoming a mid wife – that’s awesome! I can so see you being great at that! Definitely keep me posted on it. It’s very cool that you’re chasing your dreams (I’m with you 100%).
Really appreciate your support dear friend.
Love ya too
Hey Vin,
Thanks so much. Yes it seems, like most things, I’m not alone! I’m grateful I have a bit more direction now.
I very much appreciate your offer to email you and I might just do that! Thanks for your comment Vin.
Hey PP,
Thanks for your support PP – it’s appreciated.
You’re welcome! Your post really helped that day. One of the things I love about the blogging world is the wealth of knowledge and the honesty that people are willing to share. It’s a beautiful (and helpful) thing.
There are no plans to stop this blog (I enjoy it too much). I’ve thought long and hard about it and it basically came down to the fact that I love writing, I love the connection and interaction that blogging provides and everything else will work itself out. Besides, I’d miss all you guys!!
Hi Tim,
Yeah, it’s not always easy but it’s definitely worth pursuing. On the days you’re lacking direction and focus, maybe try the process I went through. It’s actually helped me a lot and the synchronicity that’s come out of it has been very cool. I think I’ll do it again the next time I feel stuck.
I find meditating helps me a lot too. At the very least it gets the mind quiet for a while. The millions of thoughts and questions running through your mind can just about do your head in sometimes!
Btw, not sure if you’ve heard of it but I’ve been doing a blogging course called Blog Mastermind. It’s been a godsend in learning about blogging. Here’s the link but if you’re interested in knowing more, just email me at info@lifelaughsandlemmings.com.
Thanks so much for your encouragement. I appreciate it. Good luck with your blog too.
Hey Chania Girl,
You’re welcome. Your post was very needed at the time (which is proof that you shouldn’t stop blogging either)! How spinny that you’re going through the same thing. It goes to show that we’re never alone with our challenges eh?
Thanks so much for your supportive words (you’re such a sweetie). I really do believe I started this blog for a reason and I’ve decided to keep at it and let the answers unfold. I love writing and the blogging community and I really don’t want to give that up.
I would totally be up for some martinis! You never know, I might just take you up on that offer one day! Now THAT would be cool.
Much love right back and thanks again very much for your support.
xxx
Hey Symo,
Thanks very much. Hopefully the process can help others (and myself when I need it again) to get a bit of clarity. It seems to have done the trick this time.
Yep, gotta love acceptance. Makes things far easier that’s for sure!
Sami,
You have a great little blog! Take heart in what Yaro says – it takes time to build to greatness. You are already on your way, and I think the steps you are taking sound like a great plan.
When I’m feeling doubting and down, my pick-me-up routine is a bit like yours. I journal: to identify my concerns, to identify possible solutions, and to identify if all my worries are even founded. I get some exercise, because it makes me feel like I am doing something positive (plus it just clears my head). And when I am done stewing, I find some way to pamper myself. Even a new bottle of nail polish can do the trick.
Hang in there girlie! We’ll be here to watch you grow (and be growing with you)!
Hey Sami,
It’s been a busy week, and I’ve only just read this now. Blegh! I hate that nasty voice that seems to take residence in our heads sometimes.
Kick that voice to the curb. Evict her. I love your blogging VOICE, and clearly, I’m not the only one.
Hey Ann Elise,
Thanks so much and you’re so right, I need to be patient and understand that it’ll take some time.
Exercise is a great idea. I often use it myself. I love the pampering thing too. I think I’ll include that next time!
It’s so nice to know others have faith even if I don’t sometimes!! Thanks again – I appreciate your support a lot.
Hey Kirwin,
Yeah, that voice gives me the irrits I tell you.
Thanks for your lovely comments Chick. I have been most humbled by the responses. What an awesome community we belong to.
[...] « She’ll Be Right Mate Friday Question – 3 Tips for Living Well » Modest Needs Needs Help Good News Channel June [...]
Hey Sam – I agree with your mum. You do bring so much love and laughter into people’s lives. I have faith in you! I think what you are doing is fantastic, keep going my friend. I love your humour and your outlook on life and think you should continue sharing that with people. Baby steps….and you’ll get there. xo
Hey Rob,
Thanks muchly. You’re a sweetie. I appreciate your support very much. Baby steps is right. xxx
Good Day Sami,
Go back and read your life lessons.
Like this one. “I learnt that if things are supposed to be, hang in there, it will work out.”
I would like to see you , at least once a week, do more of theses life lessons. I am sure you can find more lessons in everything you do. In fact I could easy see an ebook called Lemmings’ Life Lessons.
Hey Chick J,
Yes, I am hanging in there! After I went through the process I posted about, I came up with a few ideas and one of them is actually an ebook. Great idea re the life lessons posts and ebook though. I’ll look at how I can incorporate them. Thanks very much for the feedback – much appreciated.
[...] a mini direction crisis I had not so long ago (for those of you who are new here, check out She’ll Be Right Mate for the gory [...]
[...] those of you who’ve been around here for a while, you may remember a point where I came to a crossroads with the direction of this blog. Then, after some soul searching, head banging a brick wall and [...]