Last time I looked, most of us are human and that means we make mistakes. Now, I’d like to say, “No, not me! I am the Chosen One. The Chosen One doesn’t make mistakes.” However, this, my friends, would not be entirely true.
I AM the Chosen One in my own delusional world but to everyone else, I am the crazy, Flashdancing blond who has a rather strange affinity with lemmings.
That aside, I make mistakes, so this week’s question is;
What is an important lesson you’ve learnt from a mistake you’ve made?
My answer is from many moons back. Picture this; I’m on a school bus packed full of kids on our way home from school. The “cool” kids are up the back, “nerds” down the front and “misfits” (ie me) somewhere in between.
I think I was in grade 11, which in Australia makes me about 15 years old. I considered myself just on the outskirts of the “cool” level of kids. It’s a strange place to be. Not quite a nobody, not quite a cool kid. It’s kinda like being caught between 2 parallel universes (not that I know what that’s like mind you, although it could be argued that I have several parallel universes in my brain).
Anyway, I digress. On this day in question, I found myself quite close to the back of the bus. “Hell yeah,” I thought, “I’m a cool kid, I’m a cool kid! Woot, woot!” It had apparently escaped my peanut of a teenage brain that in all likelihood, I was close to the back of the bus because the bloody bus was full!
It seems despite my self-proclaimed “cool” status I’d given myself, I was to go through an initiation. And one I’m not proud of I might add.
My mission was given to me by the Oh Holy One of Coolness and leader of the cool kids, let’s call her “Princess Iceberg” shall we? The initiation involved calling one of the “uncool” outcast kids a dog as I walked by on my way off the bus.
When Princess Iceberg gave me the mission, I felt instantly uncomfortable and knew this wasn’t the right thing to do. However, I was so close to cool I could smell it and so my peanut brain overrode my heart. As I walked off the bus, under my breath, I called her a dog. Then felt instantly terrible. So terrible, I can remember it like it was yesterday and beat myself up about it for a long time.
I was lucky though. About 3 years later after we’d all graduated high school and moved on, I was working in a newsagency when the girl I’d been so mean to, walked in. I knew this was my chance to put things right (my brain had thankfully graduated to a walnut).
I reminded her of the time and explained the situation. I then apologised for my disgraceful behaviour. Her response; “I actually don’t know what you’re talking about.” It seems she hadn’t heard me call her a dog. It didn’t matter. The lesson had well and truly been learnt.
To this day, I am extremely careful with the words I use, very aware of including people on the outer, treat others as I would like to be treated and more than happy to be uncool (as evidenced by my Flashdancing). A lesson I am grateful for.
OK, fess up, what lesson have you learnt from a mistake you’ve made?
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Fessin’ up: my dad gave me fifty cents to buy a loaf of bread. I walked into the grocery, flipping the 50-cent piece up in the air and catching it with the other hand, being all in my own little world. Until the coin hit the floor and rolled under a display shelf and I couldn’t reach it.
Worst part: I was barely pre-pubescent, was painfully shy, and all the employees were boys a bit older than me. I COULDN’T ask any of them for help. I also COULDN’T tell my dad how I’d lost 50 cents.
Solution? I nonchalantly walked to the front of the store, got myself a grocery bag, went to the bread section, put a loaf of bread in the bag, and walked out.
Reasoning? Heck, I paid for it. They just gotta find the money.
Lesson learned? 1) fear of my dad overrode my fear of the law, and I don’t want to be that kind of parent. 2) guilt is NOT a fun trip.
Please don’t turn me in. I’m sure someone found that 50-cent piece and put it in the cash register, right?
I took candy from a the local “Dime Store” when I was about 6 years old. My Mom made go back to the store owner and apologize. It was one of the most horrific experiences of my short life. I was terrified that I was going to end up in jail.
Made an impression though…
I’m going to make a smart “arse” answer. Hehe.
I actually use mistakes to study. I’m serious. I make practice tests and then I take them. The ones that I get wrong I go back review and retest until perfection.
Looks like I’m unique. No learning from a bad relationship or anything, hehe.
Oh good call Sami! One thing I am not proud of (and consequently learnt from) – when I was in Grade 7 (age 12 for those non-Australians!)my friend stopped being my friend, and turned everyone against me (at least, that’s how I remember it!) So one day when she teased me, I said to her “at least I don’t live in a housing commission home” (Government owned housing). I told my mum what I’d done, thinking it was the greatest comeback of all time, and I got in a lot of trouble.
I learnt many things from that experience, including not to judge people by how they live, and to be considerate of those less fortunate than you. We never rekindled our friendship, but the ones I have now are probably stronger because of the things I learnt.
God now I feel like a glass of wine!!
I’d probably say that my last big mistake was leaving all my personal business cards home during the last conference I attended in Chicago. I felt horrible just walking to meet people as the last thing they always closed their conversations with is “Do you have a business card?” And not even a good line like “Oh, I left them in my room” works as you may never hear from them again.
Excellent post that made me think there for a minute!
It’s better to earn money than win it!
A while back I went down the route of gambling as I always seemed to win money, never admitting that I would lose more in doing so. Facing up to the fact that I was on the road to ruin if I carried on gambling but also that I was addicted to the buzz of gambling was one of the hardest lessons I have learned and not one I want to face again. But in doing so I have realised that there is more satisfaction in earning money through working hard than winning it and you are less likely to blow money you earn so quickly than that you win.
One thing I’ve learned is that, unless I make a change, I’ll keep doing the same things over and over again. I used to get myself in a lot of trouble whenever I would drink a lot and it wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I stopped all of the trouble. It’s one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned so far — that it’s up to ME to make a change in my life.
The most important lesson I´ve learned is that we´re all humans and we make mistakes. In the past I had a hard time feeling guilty and I used to blame myself for the mistakes I made but now I´ve realized that It´s a part of life and every experience teach us something. So in a way making mistakes It´s necesary for our life because they make us stronger and better human beings.
@Jeanne
Hey Jeanne. It amuses me how we think when we’re young. Being cool and accepted is definitely the focus. God forbid we make a mistake! Mortifying I tell you! At least you did learn a great lesson out of it. A perfect example of how ruling or leading by fear is counterproductive. Leading through inspiration, now that’s more like it! Thanks for sharing and I promise I won’t turn you in.
@Greg
Hi Greg. That reminds me of a story regarding my sister. She was caught smoking at school. To make matters worse, she was a school captain. Mum made her apologise to the entire school at their morning parade. She reckons she’s still scarred! Did the trick though. She’s now 27 and hasn’t smoked since! Sounds like it had the same effect on you!
@Nazim
Hi Nazim, you may be unique but your mistakes are still helping you learn!
@Katie
Hey Katie. Lol, I know what you mean, I needed a glass of wine myself! Learning not to judge is such a valuable lesson. It’s great you learnt it so young. Some people never learn it.
@Paul L’Acosta
Hi Paul. Back in my corporate and business days I was renowned for forgetting business cards so I feel your pain! Thanks for stopping by.
@Andy
Hi Andy. Good for you for stopping. It takes a lot of courage to admit things are out of control and even more to stop the downhill slide. And you bring up a great point; I’ve often thought how I’m glad I haven’t been born into money. It really is very satisfying to earn your own success and money. I can imagine that someone who is born into, or wins (or steals) money often doesn’t get to feel that sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when you make it on your own. Thanks very much for sharing your story.
@Positively Present
Great point PP. “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”. Mistakes are often our guide posts. It’s sometimes really hard to see the “insanity” when you’re in it though. The fact that you could see it and get yourself out of it really is a testament to your strength girl.
@Claudia
Hi Claudia. So true. We humans seem to be hell bent on NOT making mistakes at the expense of trying new things, going out of our comfort zones and taking risks. Not much of a life if you ask me. You are SO right. Mistakes make us better versions of who we are. They are one of the best ways we learn. Thanks Claudia!
When I was a kid, I used to tease our dog. One day in the park, that same dog stuck up for me in front of some kids who were trying to get tough with me. Although I had teased him, he wanted to protect me. He loved me anyway.
I learned to respect animals at all costs. This lesson later developed into respect for animals and humans alike, although the second part was the more difficult lesson.
I told countless lies way back in the past. I stabbed people behind their backs. I’ve done lots of stupid things in the past that I regret so much. I’ve been sober from these bad acts for almost 2 years and I really love the feeling of becoming a better person.
@Lisa
Hi Lisa. That’s such a cool story. Talk about unconditional love. Dogs have that sussed for sure. And I know what you mean about respecting humans. It’s not quite as easy as respecting animals, probably because we tend to place so many conditions on each other! We could learn a lot from our furry friends. Thanks for sharing.
@Louis
Hi Louis. Good for you for turning things around. While the feelings of regret must be hard to deal with at times, your reward for changing is the new (and better) person you’ve become. This can only bring you better experiences, relationships and responses from other people. How you are in the world is what is reflected back to you. Thanks to changing, you’ll have a lot of great stuff coming to you! Thanks for stopping by.
My regret goes way back (you need not know just how way back!!!) My mother-in-law-to-be asked if I would like to wear a family heirloom (moonstone necklace) on our wedding day. I politely refused on the grounds that it didn’t suit my dress. Ever since I regretted my stance – even more so when I learnt that my sister-in-law also refused the same offer! I was just too self absorbed and failed to see how my refusal would have caused disappointment. Many years later I apologised to my mother-in-law and found myself fighting back tears! That regret lived with me all those years but today I like to think I am more understanding of other’s needs.
@Mum May
Hey Ma, yeah, it’s funny how things stick with us eh? The mere fact you apologized (and in a heart-felt way) would have been very much appreciated by Grandma.